Ouch!

My right foot hurts. Now this may seem like a weird thing to say, but to me it's significant. In the "old days" my foot would hurt for a reason. I would say things like "My foot hurts because I hurt it skiing, at the ice rink, during dance class, etc." Now, it just hurts for no reason. I find this really upsetting. It must mean I'm getting old, and I worry about that. For instance, will cute sandals start to make my feet ache and I'll suddenly turn to orthopedic lace ups? Will I limp around a dance floor at the next wedding I attend not able to finish the whole song without collapsing into my padded chair and panting into the poppyseed cake? What does this mean? And why is it only my right foot? Hasn't my left one logged as many miles around the mounds of laundry, dirty dishes, and grocery check out lines? And, to tell the truth I have another upsetting discovery. My right finger hurts sometimes. The one we called "pointer" when playing "Where is thumpkin?" during my preschoolers circle time. Now I'm really worried. What if my whole right side goes out at once? How will I exist? Can I get a "right side" transplant? Is anybody doing research on this? I think I'd better hurry up and use my "right brain" abilities to solve this problem while I still can. In fact, I think I hear it telling me to hurry up and go skiing!