Diet Dog

I rarely go to Wal-Mart. Not because I don't want to, but because the closest one is thirty miles from my house. So yesterday, I was so excited when I was in the area, had twenty-two dollars in my pocket and could rush over and fill a cart or two with bargains. I'm walking in the shampoo aisle (maybe that should have clued me in) and stumbled across one of my favorite things--a new box of "100 calorie" snacks. Reaching for the colorful box, I stoped suddenly gasping outloud. It said "doggy treats." I'm not kidding. They were 100 calorie DOG TREATS!!! I laughed so hard I'm sure they were calling security, but really, isn't that a scream? I fished in my purse for my cell phone to hurry up and call the only friend I have who owns a dog, but the silly thing had a dead battery. So I couldn't tell anyone. I think it's funny anyway. Kind of reminds me of the time I was in a Caracus grocery store and tossed into my cart what I thought was tuna--but then noticed the only english on the label saying "The happy cat." Two close calls in one lifetime. Hmm. I wonder how much weight I would lose.....nah.

The Fan Club

Sometimes I really wonder what kind of sense of humor God has. Take this week. I am simply trying to get a pair of curtains on the curtainless window of my office up. Not hard for most women I suppose, but me? I might as well be trying to get a job as a temporary fill in for Nasa. I am not curtain-smart. I walked into Target and looked at the curtain stuff aisle. I had written down my measurements before I left and knew the window was 70 inches across. I kept looking at my paper and looking at the strange rods in the aisle. What did it all mean? Did each one come with the bolty stuff that went in the wall? The drill to drill it? A little man to put them up? I walked out with nothing but my scrap of paper even more confused. Then there's the matter of the hood fan. My hood fan in my kitchen hasn't worked for over ....ah...maybe three years. I just kind of wave the air above the frying pan and hope my arms get thinner. Hasn't worked, so I went to a small mom and pop appliance store and ordered what the worker "Henry" said I needed. Week after week went by and Henry never called to say my new fan was in. Finally I gave up after two months. Off I went to Home Depot and met a new worker named "Emma." She said she knew exactly what I needed but before she could place the order I had to know what kind of venting the fan had--round or rectangle. Henry never asked that. I had no idea. Three weeks later I finally get back over to Home Depot with the info that I had a retangle opening. Emma said I'd need a "boot" for that. I have no idea what that is or who to get to put this huge thing in, but I have a feeling this is not going to go well. I wonder if really--when it's all said and done--I'll just keep waving the fried hamberger fumes in the air and call it good. As my previous post kinda touched on, I'm not very good at the little stresses in life. I really admire people who are. I wonder if it's a gift I'll never get to open. I know one thing--it sure would be a surprise! Happy Valentine's Day to all in celebration of love and hope. I am so grateful for the people in my life who love me, and I'm going to keep working on not getting bogged down with the little stuff!!!