Breakin Up Is Hard To Do....

It’s time I made a final decision. I know what you’re thinking…twenty years is a long time to be together and I should really be sure I want to leave. I tried separation, and you know what? It felt great. Yes…the time has come to leave my warehouse membership for good. It all came to a head last night when those dreaded words were spoken at the checkstand. “You’re due to renew.” Gasp! Could it be true? Already? I had to face reality. Was I really getting my needs met, my freezer stocked, and fifty dollars worth of chicken on toothpicks? No. The time had come for us to part. I walked out of those guarded doors with no receipt and never looked back. Should I re-consider? Try counseling? Only time will tell. Oh there were good times to be sure. The jumbo hotdogs, the 5000 calorie muffins, the beep beep beep of a moving pallet of dog food. But, let’s face it, I did have a growing list of complaints… like why can’t we use our Visa? Why can’t we limp out behind a few muscle bound carry-out guys, and how can a place that’s big enough to park a jet plane not have dressing rooms? These were the questions that kept me up at night…made me really look inside myself…am I really having my needs met in this relationship? I can no longer deny the truth. I’ve been fantasizing about spending time with other discount stores. I’ve been sneaking out to Grocery Outlet and flirting with the Safeway meat counter markdowns. I’m afraid, eventually, the whole town will know. Yes, it’s time to leave the black conveyor belt of barn size bargains for good. I will forever cherish the years spent with the hairnet ladies… hovering over their toaster ovens and paper cups of nuts. But, I must move on to a life of bags and smaller parking lots.


Destiny and the day old bread cart is calling my name.