Pop goes the eardrum

It's so fun to feel grateful. We were on the plane about to land flying from Portland to Phoenix and Kelley, the nine year old started grabbing her ears and was crying in intense pain. We thought we had been so prepared and bought gum, but it was those tiny pieces of sugarless and it just wasn't helping a bit. A nice woman behind us reached her hand around my seat and offered a huge roll of bubble gum. I gratefully tore off a piece about three feet long and helped my screaming daughter stuff her mouth with the grape flavored strips. Instant relief. So you'd think we'd know better on our next flight a few days later to San Diego, right? Here we were again on the descent and the screaming started, and we only had given her that dumb little gum purchased from the overpriced giftshop hours before the flight. A few minutes of hearing her cries and again there's a hand around my aisle seat---this time a gentlemen was offering packets of gummy worms. Again...instant bliss. Her poor little ears---and ours---were spared again. Twice I was stupidly unprepared to help my daughter, and twice absolute strangers saved the day. Good grief--to think I'm the mom of six and this was my youngest, there really is no excuse. I'm so grateful to these kind people and will now always try to carry supplies for my kids and others on every plane ride. Isn't it great to witness the kindness of strangers? ! I can't wait to pass it on.

Falling off the Bridge

I am absolutely flabergasted at Parade magazine. In their May 4, 2008 issue on page 26 under "Parade Picks" they have a suggestion for a great Mother's Day DVD to buy. The opening line is "Every mom--and most dads--fell for The Bridges of Madison County, a beautiful love story..." HAVE THEY LOST THEIR MINDS?!!! "The Bridges of Madison County" is about an Iowa housewife who cheats on her husband with a traveling photographer, while her husband takes their kids to the state fair. He demonstrates nothing but kindness to her, and the movie shows him being a great dad---not that an affair would be justified if he wasn't. And make no mistake about it, Parade is calling the affair the beautiful love story, not the loving acts of her husband--oh no--wouldn't want to praise that. The very idea that Parade thinks this is a great idea to hand a mother on Mother's Day adds even more insult to injury. This is the most disgusting show of disdain for marriage I have ever seen in this magazine and is an insult to all married couples---even, heaven forbid---ones who occasionally find married life "boring." Parade may have thought moms and dads "fell for The Bridges" but it sounds to me like the writers over at Parade are the ones who fell offf the bridge on this one. Let's let Parade know we don't think too much of their "pick" for moms at parade.com. Scroll to the bottom and click on "contact us" and please let them know what you think. I'd say a well worded printed apology to married couples is in order!

Make mine polka dot

There they go again...these people on HGTV walk into a house they're looking at at exclaim with relief "Oh yeah, that's great, the kitchen has hardwoods, stainless and granite counter tops." I just don't get it. I went to a private girls high school where we wore uniforms and yearned for those occasional "free dress days" where we could go wild with our wardrobe selections--well, as long as you didn't hike up your skirt to your waistband--but the point was, we liked to be different after looking like everybody else all week. Now it seems like some "principal" has declared that all kitchens wear the same uniform, and the public is buying it--literally! Just for once, I'd like Mr. and Mrs. first time homebuyer to walk into that kitchen and say "You know, I was really hoping for leopard print formica countertops, can we get some of those? Or, maybe some good old fashioned vinyl floors, that actually are made to take pitchers of orange juice your toddler spills at 9pm and you don't discover till the next morning. I guess I'm just too old for this mass trance of remodeling. I've seen too much. It really wasn't that long ago we were looking for our first house and the fancy schmanchy homeowners all ran out to update with---textured almond appliances with pouffy window "treatments" in country blue and mauve. Yep, I'm holding on to my fix-it-up dollars and waiting till this all passes and we see what the next kitchen "uniform" looks like. Personally--I'm really counting on the leopard look to be the one.

packing up

I walked out to get into my car parked in the driveway today and noticed I did it again...forgot to lock it up! I'm just so glad nobody broke into it. A couple of years back someone actually did and it was a terrible feeling. Makes me realize how lucky I am in that regard. When I was on tour with Holiday on Ice we were playing Prague and four of us were sharing a room and someone broke in during the night while we were sleeping. We can't believe that nobody woke up but we know they were there, because stuff was taken that had been laying on the dresser, etc. It was such a creepy feeling. Then, a few years later, I was staying with some dancer friends at an apartment in West Hollywood and the same thing happened. They had come in through a window over the sink--they have these alley way things, so a thief can really kind of hide. Anyway, my entire purse had been dumped out right next to my bed. My cash was taken, but my credit cards were still there. To think someone was standing right over me two times while I slept really makes me wonder if it's such a good thing to be a sound sleeper. I guess I really believe the old saying, when it's your time it's your time and when it's not, it's not. Maybe that's why when Gary is out of town I check and re-check the doors over and over. I also don't like candles very well, which may have something to do with the fact that I caught on fire when I was four! Oh, the traumas of life. Well, it only burned my slip and my poor mother put it out with her hands and we were fine. But still...I can pass by a candle shop oh so quickly...
Today it's sunny out (well at least for Oregon) and I'm escaping to the coast for a conference and the speaker is Carol Kent--she has such a great message of hope, I can't wait! Oh dear...the dryer stopped--- I'd better get packing....and I get to interview her too! What fun!

The Door is Open

I can't believe it--I looked out my front window and there it was, staring back at me like an angry neon sign. My neighbor painted his front door fire engine red. It's not that I have anything against red on a front door, but his house is PEACH COLORED. Ahhhhh! I can't stop looking at it and wondering how to not notice anymore. Should I say something? He's a thirty something bachelor who has a steady girlfriend who I think may be the real culprit in this adventure. The only time I spoke to him was to say "thanks" as he dropped a Snickers bar into my daughter's Halloween trick or treat bag. I guess that doesn't really count as knowing someone. My kitchen window faces that silly door too, and no matter how hard I try I can't see anything else across the street as I'm scrubbing pots and pans. As if that weren't enough torture! Hmmm, in the mean time I'm going to "keep on mushing." My other neighbor (who has a reasonably colored front door) recently brought me a ziplock bag full of white squishy stuff that she said was Amish friendship bread starter. Day after day I have to "mush it" on my kitchen counter. I'm wondering if I'm going to like it when it gets done and who else I should give some to. Maybe I should make a deal with "Mr. Red Door! "

Ouch!

My right foot hurts. Now this may seem like a weird thing to say, but to me it's significant. In the "old days" my foot would hurt for a reason. I would say things like "My foot hurts because I hurt it skiing, at the ice rink, during dance class, etc." Now, it just hurts for no reason. I find this really upsetting. It must mean I'm getting old, and I worry about that. For instance, will cute sandals start to make my feet ache and I'll suddenly turn to orthopedic lace ups? Will I limp around a dance floor at the next wedding I attend not able to finish the whole song without collapsing into my padded chair and panting into the poppyseed cake? What does this mean? And why is it only my right foot? Hasn't my left one logged as many miles around the mounds of laundry, dirty dishes, and grocery check out lines? And, to tell the truth I have another upsetting discovery. My right finger hurts sometimes. The one we called "pointer" when playing "Where is thumpkin?" during my preschoolers circle time. Now I'm really worried. What if my whole right side goes out at once? How will I exist? Can I get a "right side" transplant? Is anybody doing research on this? I think I'd better hurry up and use my "right brain" abilities to solve this problem while I still can. In fact, I think I hear it telling me to hurry up and go skiing!

Movin On Up

• I swore it would never happen to me. After all, I was the daughter of a car dealer and should know better. But circumstances happen and poof there I was doing what nobody should ever do—buy a car under desperate circumstances.
  
  It all started when my neighbor Teri and I were in my 1990 Mazda MPV van on a rainy afternoon thirty miles from home on December 22nd and the car quit in the middle of the road. No warning. We got out and pushed it into a nearby parking lot with the help of a nice guy who stopped by. It was the transmission of course. Unfortunately, Santa did not have an extra $1400 in my stocking for the repair bill, but we went ahead and replaced it anyway.
  
  Four days later our “good” car the 96 Oldsmobile starting acting worse than usual and that transmission went out. My father in law was visiting from Phoenix and he and my husband said the dreaded words: "You must buy a car…NOW!"
  
  At the nearby car lot I looked and looked and finally test drove a 2000 Acura with only 43,000 miles on it. It was the same price as the newer used cars that had a lot more miles on them, so I thought “why not?” Wow. Talk about the luxury life. Leather heated seats and all. I talked them down on price and up on the trade in and signed about three thousand documents in blood. I think I feel okay about this, but I did learn something in the process for next time.
  
  Go home and look up the model’s history on the internet. I found out this car has massive transmission problems and a recall. Not a good thing.
  
  Ask for a warranty period to return the car for any reason if you aren’t happy and have it put in writing. My salesman said I had a 90 day return period, but I have nothing in writing, so I have NOTHING.
  
  Look for details. I have no owners manual and no floor mats. Seems like little things, but if I would have asked for them during negotiation, chances are I would have gotten them.
  
  And now? Well, the lower drivers seat doesn’t heat up, and I found out it could cost as much as $395.00 to fix. Because I didn’t discover it on the night I bought it, I’m again…out of luck. I called the dealership and asked the sales manager if they would consider doing it anyway and he said he’d get back to me today. Except he didn’t. Maybe tomorrow. In the meantime, I’m trying to be positive and just love my new used car and not worry too much. But really, the daughter of a car dealer should know better, right? Buyer beware!!